Of life, revelations & kahaani mein twists

Every living soul goes through at least one life changing moment in which a revelation strikes like a thunderbolt, out of the blue, giving that moment in which the mind is suddenly crystal clear. For some great souls like Budha if the moment spells enlightenment of the greater mysteries of life, for lesser mortals like you and me it can as well be a “What am I doing in life?” kind of observation that when answered could lead to interesting kahaani me twists.

I had this “What am I doing in life?” question dawn on me exactly three years ago as I sat under a tree (No not Peepal tree) in a densely forested park near the famed Bull Temple in Bangalore. I had just graduated from Journalism school, was unemployed, was in search of my true calling and was living in a dingy PG in Bangalore to escape questions from family and friends back home.

There was no drum roll, no bolt of lightning, it just happened- a stream of bird shit dropped on me as I sat under that tree, free of responsibilities and questions. One moment I was hopping angry, the next I was asking myself what was I doing under that tree in the first place, what was I doing in life? That is when I answered it with- Nothing!

The nothing seemed so disgusting to me, I almost puked. I decided then and there that I was not going to squander away my life doing nothing. I walked back to the PG, made a few calls to friends asking them to refer any jobs in the media & communication field and made that one decision in my life that has been game changing to say the least. I have never sat doing nothing since then.The bird shit did it!

I had another one of the thunderbolt revelations a few months ago. It was bang in the middle of running hitching up my sari down a high security venue to be inaugurated by the Prez of India seconds before the Presidents convoy reached the spot. Spectators were confused, police befuddled and I hoped the earth would open up and swallow me. It is and I hope will remain my biggest goof up ever. But the point is, as my limbs were in action my brain had that moment of clarity. The “What the Fuck have I done?” observation. I answered it with “utter shit”. That’s it! I swore I will never take ANY undue risks in life and that I will think twice before moving a limb. Sigh! Hope the plan works. I do not want an encore of the Prez-wala incident. Brrrr…

So there it is folks, the secret of game changing decisions- the one moment of clarity, THE revelation. When you do get that one moment, grab it with both hands, it’s like orgasm, it’s wonderful while it lasts.

Chicken Pox Diaries

Ya so I was down with chickenpox the day I turned 24! A little late in life it seems to contract a child’s illness, but as mom and dad say, the extra care they took of me and sis in our childhood made us cheat the pox and its cronies.

So it happened that the much awaited long birthday weekend in my hometown got converted to a sick leave of 10 days. Nothing much happened in those 10+ days except that I reached new heights of ugliness, spent a lot of time lying on my back day dreaming and got a new perspective on life- albeit the dormant one. 😀

When you look at life from the horizontal (you know what I mean) viewpoint, many of the mysteries of life dawn on you. For example, did you know that ants loveee human skin? They clamour for discarded bits. Ehww ain’t it? Pardon my lack of social etiquette but this is a fact I found out with a lot of trouble you see. Worth sharing! 😀 Another mystery of life that I decoded while I was at it is the “Bum balance”. When too much of sitting or sleeping turns your ass sore (yes it does) you balance yourself on 1 bum cheek, when that turns sore then the other and so on. And Voila! After 10 days you have a perfectly toned ass. I am considering patenting this technique.

Add to the soon to be patented knowledge the bliss of having a reason to getaway from work for 12 consecutive days without having to answer the 5Ws and 1H, minimal interference from visitors (people were scared shit of contracting the chickeny thing from me) and all the pampering that I can only hope to get in a spa under normal circumstances, and I am ready to forget all the bland food that I had to feed on until a month later and all the scars!

I came to recognize every contour of my bedroom, befriended the sugary sweet kitties in the wall posters my sis had stuck in the 3 years I loaned the room to her and even appreciated her “artwork” of fish, butterflies and sparrows in rainbow colours on the walls. Shudder!

Maybe the chickenpox was a blessing in disguise for my overworked, workaholic bones. A weight loss programme fate threw along the way, a time to re-connect with family and my soul. Either which ways I have utilized it fully, completely and to the best of my ability.

Now to get my 1 minute of fame with the patent. Muahhh! 😉